You mean a year in which 650,000 people lost their jobs in one month? A year in which millions, yes millions, will lose their homes to to foreclosure, tossed out onto the sidewalk, with all their worldly posessions? A year when the money that people expected to fund their retirements with, shrunk like a man’s penis, when he jumps into a swimming pool filled with ice-cubes? And those retirement funds, mortgages, and credit resources for the businesses that employed these people – and provided the health insurance that has now evaportated … that money was entrusted to Wall Street, who basically acted like super schmuck, Albert Brooks, in Lost In America – running to Las Vegas and blowing the whole wad at the craps table? Phew, I’m relieved to know that Wall Street pay is bouncing back! I was really worried about those guys. Finally, I’ll be able to get a good night’s sleep! Because God forbid, they have another “off” year, and have to give up things like those six thousand dollar shower curtains.
Well, it’s Tuedsay. As promised, here is my story about a homosexual sandwich. I hope it cuts the mustard. Ba-dump-bump!
Both my sister and my brother are gay.
So, while some people, who are trying to flash their liberal cred, have been heard to say, “some of my best friends are gay,” I can always trump them by saying; some of my best relatives are gay… top that, you tree hugger!”
This past week, my brother and sister and I spent the day together, and I posed the following question:
“since I am the middle child, and you are both gay, does that makes me a homosexual sandwich?
My truly sage brother corrected me gently. “You are in fact, a heterosexual sandwich. They never name a sandwich for its bread. They name it for its filling.”
Well, he really set me straight! Oops! No pun intended.
To quote the brilliant Wanda Sykes: “if you’re against gay marriage, then I suggest you don’t marry a gay person.” Here’s a cartoon.
Come back on Tuesday for a story about a homosexual sandwich. You’ll like it. I promise.
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On Saturday night, Rick and I had dinner with our great friends, Abe and Patti. We were discussing the unresolved Somalian hostage situation. Abe said that when Captain Phillips jumped into the water, Phillips must have been thinking that he was giving the Navy Seal sharpshooters, floating a mere 200 yards away, a long awaited chance for a clear shot at the pirates. How surprised Phillips must have been, that the only gunshots he heard, while he splish-splashed about, were from the guns of his Somalian captors, as they wrestled him back to captivity.
What reason could there have been that such a golden opportunity to save Captain Phillips life, and put an end to the hostage crisis had been squandered by our brilliant Navy Seals?
Well, that question got answered on Sunday morning as I perused the news online.
From the Times online:
“The Defense Department twice sought Mr. Obama’s permission to use force to rescue Captain Phillips, most recently on Friday night, senior defense officials said. On Saturday morning, the president agreed, they said, if it appeared that the captain’s life was in imminent danger.”
Okay, note to President Obama: I know that you are very new at this job, and that you come to it with far less experience than any other President I know of, but, when a person gets kidnapped by Somalian Pirates with AK-47’s, that “life in danger thing…” it’s automatic. I am not sure what other information President Obama needed for confirmation of this fact.”
So, if I read the previous Times blurb correctly, Obama was asked twice, and then on the third request, granted permission to shoot at the Somalian pirates, to save the life of this innocent American, who as the world already knew, had put his own life at risk, by telling the crew to flee and offering himself to the Somalian pirates as a hostage.
Let me make it perfectly clear: I know that George Bush was a destructive 8 year pox on our great nation. I celebrated as I watched the helicopter lift-off the White House lawn, and carry him away, on his last day in office. But that said, for the sake of Captain Phillips and his family, I think we could have used George Bush for a few days as this Somalian thing played out. Obama’s limp and inexplicable response left me wondering if, just maybe, Ex-President George W. Bush might be available on a freelance basis, for future situations like this, and what his hourly rate might be.
Sometimes I think I have to stick to political cartoons. After all, I am on the editorial page of the Indy. It’s something I’m conflicted about. But living with my husband Rick, sometimes he just makes it too easy. I just follow the man with a pen. So, this week’s cartoon is dedicated to my husband, a truly romantic soul.
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